Random Thoughts Thursday...

 

One of these things is not like the other...

 

 

50 yard- long lanes- What I was getting into last year on this date

25 yards- short lanes- What I was getting into today.

 

Swimming intimidates me.  Swimmers intimidate me (accept for my lovely friend Susan).  Swimsuits make me want to scream (mostly because of my large chest- UGH!).  Swimming goggles just never fit right (either too loose so that I'm forever stopping to tighten them, or so tight that I have permanent markings/like a raccoon, around my eyes after I'm done).  However, swimming is kind of the thing I can do right now.

 

Last week I met with a Health Coach because I really felt like I needed a life overhaul.  I was grumpy, frustrated, and probably a little depressed.  My knee is about 50% and that of course bothers me.  I can't just ignore it though and go out and say "screw it" and run a mile or two- or else it swells up like a little grapefruit growing off my right knee.  So the coaching session was GREAT!  My health coach totally understood me and my needs. 

 

A couple of her comments stuck with me.  "don't tell yourself you are now destine to a life of swimming just tell yourself for the summer (aka time being) you are going to work on your swimming.  It is like a bandaid to get you through until you can ride a bike or better yet run again".  I liked this idea.  I liked the idea that swimming was my "bandaid".  She also said her co-worker said the following to her once and she shares it with her clients "you tell yourself stories, once in awhile throw a good one in".  A good reminder. 

 

Lastly, I was talking to her about different hobbies/passions of mine.  She wanted to know what types of activities I could do in place of running (both mentally and physically).  I talked to her about my desire to write a motivational type book about an everyday person who gets her "big" accomplished.  Yep the story of a part time professional, mom of two, wife, friend, etc who sets her eyes on her "big" (70.3 mile triathlon) and accomplishes it.  But, I told her I'm struggling to write it because I feel like a "fake".  I'm not feeling worthy of writing it because of the accident, surgery, and now SLOW recovery and somewhat doubtful return to my now "big" goal of running a 1/2 marathon.  She said think of this as your "phoenix".  I didn't get it at first, but basically- my rebirth or coming out of the fire/transformation from triathlete to injured frumpy/dumpy me to end-goal of healthier,happier being.  I like the visual of a bird flying out of the fire!

 

 

So I got in the pool and did 20 minutes free style and 10 minutes kick board and 10 minutes running in water, toe raises and my step down knee bends.  It felt good.  So not back into the long lanes, but making my way there one day soon. 

 

Total other random note, not at all related to any of the above. I 've had to do a load of laundry today because I'm finding glitter dust all over last year's pants, jeans, pajamas, shorts (my summer clothes).  No idea what pixie has been in my closet from last year to this year.  Strange huh!



Werde, der du bist -- Become who you are

The above taken from Nietsche a German, Latin, and Greek scholar, poet and composer.  The line was found in a current book I'm reading "Life After Life" by Kate Atkinson, which by the way is EXCELLENT!  Nietsche took that line from Pindar (a lyric Greek poet from Thebes)- when translating Pindar's Greek line to English his line means: "Become such as you are, having learned what that is."

I'm forever learning that, but I really like that- become such as your are- based on what I've learned about myself. 

Yesterday I broke.  I was trying to lift the weight and bar with my right leg sitting at the leg extension machine at PT.  My right quad was quivering right in front of my eyes as I tried to lift it.  You know that quivering when your legs are really fatigued and you begin to shake from weakness.  Well that's what I was feeling and seeing.  Seeing not just feeling let the flood gates open and I broke. 

Why I broke, because this was the first rep, not the 10 or 20th.  It was the first.  I couldn't lift the weight.  WTF- why had I regressed?

I knew the answer and it came from the "event" that occurred at the end of February.  I had gone to the gym and rode a flat easy ride with little to no resistance on the spin bike (15 min for 5 miles) followed by leg extension weight machine and leg press machine doing single leg presses.  I left feeling great and that I had a productive workout.  The next day I was at work and just felt strain in my right knee and by that night it was swollen and even more swollen the next day and by Friday I had total discomfort bending my leg in and extending it out.  I couldn't do a thing at PT on Friday.  He, my PT, measured the swelling and wrote down numbers, discussed that this was likely just a small kink in the road and maybe I had either had the seat too low and really bent my knee when riding or I did too much weight with too much bend on the leg press machine.  Like I tell my own patients when they come and see me for fainting/syncope, I can't totally determine the cause of their faint, but I can hypothesize what may have happened.  Well now I was the patient and I was experiencing the hypothesizing that really gives the patient no true answer.

So I rested, iced and elevated and pretty much stayed off it.  The next week I didn't have PT because I was in Las Vegas, and then the next week I was in Alabama for spring break.  I walked, I did some squats, toe raises, and "quad clenches" (squeezing your quad and holding it to increase the muscle firing and build up muscle) during this time off, but with the swelling taking longer than I expected I really didn't push myself. 

Then yesterday came, after a really good workout week- Mon, Tue, and Wed up and doing some cardio and weights at 5:30 a.m. ( this after having a "come to you know who talk" with Coach (aka Hubby)- basics of the talk: I can't train for a race and I can't really "run" but I can train or plan workouts that get me in shape so what's stopping me).  Despite the early morning rolling out of bed it was worth it and felt good and I felt purposeful in my workouts, which I hadn't felt in awhile.

So despite the good workout week, no swelling, seeing my quad so weak was utterly frustrating and I broke.

My tears I'm pretty sure freaked PT man out, but he handled it well running for a Kleenex box and handing tissues my way.  I just told him what I felt in my head- I am frustrated, I'm worried what this means for me long term, and I was struggling with feeling so lost from my conversations on running, racing, and training.  I enjoy interacting with others who have the same hobby/passion to train, race, etc.  The night before I had two different discussions with women at my daughter's hockey banquet about races they would be running.  We talked about how hard it was to find that ugly word "balance" with being moms, professionals, and runners.  I miss those talks, I miss those feelings of figuring out the workouts, work and life "to do's" for the week.  Right now I'm living vicariously through other's race schedules, workouts and soon to be races.  It is I've found at times painful. 

I'm not resentful of these people, but I worry that I will never again experience those feelings, those accomplishments and that life.  I've also felt lost with my writing because for so long I've always written about my racing, training, and the life that intertwines those things. 

I wanted to write a book about my year of training for 70.3 tri and what that encompassed and what I learned about myself through that journey.  I'm doubting the validity or the importance of that writing because I'm no longer feeling like that person, and my goal with writing it was to be a motivational read on how an "everyday woman" could accomplish a "big" in hopes that others would be inspired to go out and do their "big" even if they feel they are "everyday" too.  It is hard to feel inspirational and write thus when trying to figure out the "now what" after injury, surgery and continued rehab. 

So when I read the above line "become who you are" it really resonated with me. I have some work to do because I do want to "become who [I] am".  I know "Who [I] am"- I'm an extrovert, mother of two, professional, friend, sister, daughter, wife, reader, writer, sensitive soul, and one who loves and needs other's in her life.  It is time to embrace the "become who you are" and move forth with all the little bumps, tears, frustrations, and triumphs. 

The little bumps in the road are sometimes hard to haul myself over.

I'm not a patient person. Never have been.  Despite trying to be better at taking some deep breaths throughout the day along with counting backwards from 10 before the white trash mom voice yells out I still find myself with road rage, frustration with trying to teach my children (don't enjoy math or spelling homework), and totally lose it internally in Grocery lines when having to wait for longer than 5 minutes to start hauling my load onto the conveyor belt.

So it doesn't surprise me that my "hiccup" in my training schedule/rehab has not gone over well, internally with me, and probably externally (bet my kids would tell you I've been quick to snap at them this week).  I have been progressing and was able to run for 14 minutes straight last week.  I've also been doing some physical activity daily since the first day of Lent (part of my "to do" list for Lent).  I normally walk at least 10 minutes or more on the treadmill with some abs, knee/PT, and the days I'm suppose to run I do.  So Tuesday I headed to the gym to spin on a bike for 15 minutes getting in 5 miles of pretty much flat road, followed by weighted toe raises, one leg sitting leg press, abs, and arms.  Well the next day I was sore, and by Thursday I was really sore and worse yet really swollen at the top of my knee.  By Friday I was at PT able to do none of the exercises because my PT really felt the best activity for me was no-activity, also known as rest, ice and elevation.  So I'm now to Sunday and the swelling has improved, but when a retired veternarian from church remarks on the residual swelling in my right knee peaking out between the right boot and skirt line on my right leg I knew the swelling was still there. 

I'm compensating- trying to avoid any up and down stairs.  No treadmilling it until the swelling goes down and of course: rest, ice and Ibuprofen (Oh and of course a "natalie pour" or two). 

I had really felt like I was making progress a week ago and I know I likely still am, and don't doubt that I will be able to run one day, but as I told "the coach" (aka husband) it is sometimes hard for me to be optimistic.  I still have a pile of old Runner's Worlds below my night stand at my bedside, because I just can't read about running right now.  I've become very disconnected from the Tri group I was an active member of last year.  I just am not where those people are right now.  If I can't even ride a bike for 15 minutes without my knee blowing up I shouldn't be joining in on "Sufferfest" Spin with the group.  I see people out running with all their cold weather gear and feel resentful and depressed.  It will be a long time before I can just lace up and go for a run.  I miss that freedom, and I miss the training, the planning, the organizing my schedule to accomodate those activities with the rest of my life.   It also bums me out to think I might just actually have to becomes friends with "MyFitness Pal" APP and track all my dietary intake, because without expending my normal energy/burning calories I'm going to have to stay a health size by, oh yes that hated word, moderation, in my eating.  I'm not a bad eater, but I eat a lot and don't always make the right decisions because I'm such an emotional eater. 

So I tell myself "suck it up buttercup" (one day I will have a t-shirt with this eloquent saying on it). 

 

I keep moving forward- I sign up for a 30 day plank/push-up challenge (www.eatdrinkandbeskinny.com) and keep dreaming about running.  I try to busy myself with the rest of my life, which is full and indeed I'm grateful for loving to do so many different things.  I still miss it and miss my fit body and the emotional health I got from training and running. 

So if you see me driving my car or even taking a walk and you are running and I look the other way or worse yet glare at you know that it is only my own deficit of physically not being able to do what you are doing that is brining out this beast of impatience and disappointment. 

One day I will be back, oh yes, I'm determined, but just not sure when that "one day" will be.
 "Suck It Up Buttercup !"

2014 Year End Review-Training Miles and Race Miles

From Jan 1st through August 31st I logged a total of 1450 miles total.  These miles were accomplished by running, biking and swimming.  The most miles I put in occurred in July with a total of 90 miles ran, 244 miles biked, and 7 miles swam.  This was ramping up for my big race of the year- Pigman Long - half iron man 70.3 miles. 

I participated in a total of 5 races throughout the 2014 race season- all I had planned on, no DNF for me.  The first one was in February: Indoor Tri at Iowa: placed first in my age group for gender.  10 min swim 0.28 miles, 10 min spin 5 miles and 10 min run 1.25 miles.  I ran the Ronald McDonald 1/2 marathon 13.1 miles in 2:04 on 5/4/2014.  Followed by Pigman Sprint Triathlon 6/1: 0.28 mile swim 11 min, 15.6 mile bike 58 min, and 3.1 mile run 29:03.  August 3, 2014 Oswego I Tried a Triathlon, 1st in age group for gender, swim 0.14 mile 4:57, 6.5 mile bike 23:44 and 2.1 mile run 18:06.  Last one 8/17/14 1.2 mile swim 46:27, 56.2 mile bike 03:52 and 13.1 mile run 2:26- Pigman Long 70.3 miles.

Just writing the above paragraph brings forth so many different emotions: pride, disbelief, happiness, and sadness.  Pride- for accomplishing what I set out to do.  Disbelief that prior to 2014 I had never owned a road bike, let alone had my own bike trainer, swam in the long lap lanes, and bigger yet swam in open water, including the Atlantic Ocean.  Disbelief that someone who has only done sprint tri's would be able to sign up and complete a half-ironman triathlon.  Happiness that I was so active and so busy throughout the racing season, and did well in my finishing.  Sadness that it all ended August 31 when riding my bike on a leisure ride with hubby on Lake Shore Drive in Chicago, IL. 

Seems like forever ago that I had a workout schedule on my docket or a race/training schedule.  From Jan 1st-Aug 31st I used a personal calendar and wrote almost 6 days a week different workouts and training accomplishments I had done based on my training plan.  Then after August 31st the daily note pages, and monthly calendar pages are all empty and blank.  No scribbles, words such as spin,bike, run, or swim with miles and time written next to them are found. Its like a double life- one so full and the other so empty.

I've made it through a major knee surgery including a bone break/healing and am now back to walking almost daily for my exercise.  However, I'm still not really sweating and feeling that "happiness" factor that I use to have with my workouts, training schedule, and race goals. 

Part of my upcoming weekend "to do" list is to find some time to really sit down and think, meditate and contemplate what my strategy moving forward is in finding my "happiness" factor again with working out.  I am not signing up for any races this coming year and really my ultimate goal is just to be able to run again, but I struggle with that goal because of what it overall means for me, my health short term and long-term, along with the impact it has on my family. 

If I decide to keep running I will continue to wear and tear on my right knee- stage 2 arthritis already present prior to my surgery, right medial meniscus pretty shot due to much of it being surgically removed with my first ACL tear years ago, and the fact that I'm not getting any younger.  So is running really an option?  If I run will that push me towards a knee replacement sooner than later?

However, if I don't run will I have that "happiness" flowing in my blood ever again?  People say why don't you bike and swim?  I don't mind biking and swimming, but I don't LOVE it.  Now I'm not an elite athlete and am not winning races as a runner, but during the Pigman Long I finally had my "AHA" moment and realized "I AM A RUNNER"!  Then the rug was swept out from under my feet with the accident and that "I AM A RUNNER"! mojo was no longer present. 

I will meditate, pray, think very hard the next couple of days and come up with some sort of plan to get my "happiness" back in 2015.  I have so much to be thankful for- overall great health, ability to do activities of daily living with little to no pain despite just three months ago having a major surgery, and of course the other minor things like having a great family, roof over my head, food/clothing, job and wonderful friends (just in case you didn't get it- these really aren't minor- they are MAJOR). 

So I don't have any major races, training schedules this year to blog about.  I don't have any mileage goals to report or shoot for in 2015.  However, I think this will be a great year and I hope to have all the same reactions to 2015 as I did 2014- minus sadness: Pride, Disbelief, and Happiness!

This is so crazy!

Like a bad dream crazy!  I've just come off the biggest physical challenge of my life and mental one (actually being a mom is the biggest mental challenge of my life).  I am an athlete, I am a runner, I am happy when active...

Now what though- to make a long story short- I received my MRI results Friday and found out my ACL has been torn, again, and actually likely long ago (not sure how they know that- I deal with kid's hearts not ACLs :0), stage II arthritis in my knee, medial meniscus is screaming "game over" and I sit with a brace on my leg while I write this. I'm unsure what surgical options there are: medial meniscus is not repairable due to the grade of arthritis present (which I've never had an arthritic pain in my life, but my x-ray is showing different), my ACL may be repaired, but awaiting some tests on whether I have proper leg alignment to see if that is doable, and so I start PT tomorrow.  Some of you may be like- why are you sharing this with me?  Well I'm really sharing this for me.  My bookies read a book about a lady who had breast cancer while her dad also had cancer.  She emailed all her peeps/even some minor peeps with the info that she had breast cancer and some of the bookies thought this line of communication was ludicrous- weird, strange, etc.  I didn't think it was weird and no I realize I don't have cancer and this is likely a bad analogy, but sometimes people just need to write it down/get it out/make it real so they can move forward and let whomever wants to go along for the ride.

I was told, Friday, that my surgeon's goal is to help me be fully functional in activities of daily living  (walk up and down stairs, play with my kids, not need a whole knee replacement at age 50) However, he left out, and it was intentional, the goal to make it feasible for me to maintain the long distance running/training/racing I've become accustomed to.  This was a hard blow to be told I can't continue to do what I really love and enjoy doing.  I'm still trying to wrap my brain around it.  Who will I be if I can't run?  I know, I know you are likely saying in your mind  "stop being dramatic", which I likely am, but running means so much to me physically and mentally.  I just recently said aloud "I am a runner" and then three weeks later to be dealt this I'm a little bitter and scared about what it means.  My ACL tear from high school has put me in this state and it is just who I am and the "hand I've been dealt".

So now what?  I'm trying to stay positive and not call my sister and other Peeps and whine too much. Thanks to those who've listened! I'm trying to look at the bright side- I'm not dying, I have all my limbs, I don't have a terminal illness, I have a great family, great friends...  I'm at church this morning with my beautiful bionic brace on my leg and go to stand up and feel this "buckling" that has started ever since last Sunday's bike ride.  I'm immediately reminded not everything is alright. 

However, I soon felt awful.  Our pastor last Sunday had a scary event- mid 2nd service sermon- he lost his ability to speak.  He knew the words, but couldn't say them.  He was taken out of the sanctuary and taken to local ER and then onto University hospital.  He's undergone a barrage of tests and been diagnosed with TIA, and told it will likely not occur again, but amongst all the tests also found out he has a lesion in his right side of his brain which they think is benign, but will monitor.  He shared all this with us during his sermon today.So What The Hell is my problem- yeah I worry about never being able to race again, and I might actually have to eat healthy and follow or find other exercise activities to find my "happy place" but I don't have a "lesion in my right brain". 

I will actively try to stop the "negative" talk and move forward.  I'll make my sister proud as an A+ PT patient and I will try to refrain from pestering my ortho surgeon too much. 

I've of course also been reminded how lucky and blessed I was to have been able to train, compete and finish Pigman Long 70.3. It boggles my mind that if indeed I tore my ACL long ago I've been able to accomplish all that I have.  Someone up above knew I needed this.  Too bad I just realized I'm really a runner, but glad I realized it before it was "game over". 

So friends I'm not dying or suffering (really I'm not- just this annoying knee buckling issue and of course the humility of wearing a bionic knee brace), but I'm grieving.  I'm grieving this loss of running. I will have to redefine who I am or better yet find who I am with this little bit of me gone. 

Any time I experience loss it is just another reminder to live life to the fullest!  I better get at it then. 

Silence

I'm not good at this one.

I'm not good at being quiet or silent.

Even when I'm being quiet or silent my brain is still "chatty".

I'm a goal oriented person, or at least I like to think I am.

I recently finished an "EPIC" challenge, but within the last almost three weeks, since finishing this "EPIC" feat I find myself down, tired, injured, fatter and not as smiley as I was when crossing the finish line of a 7 hour 11 minute race.  Granted anyone who is smiling when finishing a 7 hour 11 minute race is pretty crazy.

So do I have Post-Race blues?  Maybe.

Did I indulge too much, am still indulging in too much, post race celebration: drinks, treats, no food moderation, staying up to late, not getting up to do workouts?  I think you probably know the answer to this.

Likely, it is the reality that has hit me:  two weeks post race when riding my bike with hubby along Lake Shore Drive I felt a little pull at the lateral side of my right knee- the one I tore my ACL 22years ago.   I continued to be bothered with the biking, forcing only a 16 mile bike ride instead of a 25 miler.  The knee has continued to be an issue and led me to x-rays showing "foreign body" and early signs of osteoarthritis (didn't realize, but common in those who tear their ACL).  These finding then prompted a MRI to get a better picture at "these foreign bodies" (foreign bodies doesn't mean I have a "matchbox car in my knee" but means "something" isn't where it is suppose to be- cartilage, bone, etc.).  Still awaiting the results of the MRI and until getting results am holding off on running, biking, swimming, because knee keeps buckling or acting like it is going to give out with standing from chairs, etc.  So I'm a "slug".

So "EPIC" feat almost three weeks ago and now "DOWN in DUMPS" and looking and feeling like "DUMPY" gal because of my food/drink/and inactivity. 

What's a girl to do?  Well I put my "big girl pants" on and went to an organizational/professional  meeting tonight. I think a higher being knew I needed to go to this meeting. The topic for the meeting was "self care: importance of taking care of yourself so you can take care of others".  I learned about Vital Signs for healthcare providers i.e. Nurses... BPTPR (Sharon Tucker's acronym- UIHC)
BP stands for BE PRESENT- "life is happening now" so "BE PRESENT" and enjoy it.
T- tracking your health and well being as a way to hold you accountable: weight, cholesterol, activity, intake, etc.  I don't always think weight on the scale is mentally a good thing for me to monitor regularly, but tracking my activity, intake, etc is. 
P- Practice: practice the healthy skills you need; eating well, being active, etc
R- Refueling: What helps you refuel?  Now some of the things that help me "refuel" I'm not able to do until I get cleared to go back to full activity so this "refueling" is somewhat hard right now because I do "refuel" by being active, but I have other "refueling" activities so will just have to tap into them right now. 

So back to the drawing board I will go to try and BE Present, Track my progress in self care, Practice healthy living activities, while Refueling and rebooting my system. 

I'm so glad my knee issue occurred weeks after the "EPIC Race"- feel extremely lucky to be dealing with this now after my racing season has ended.  I think someone is trying to tell me I can't rely on "activity" as a way to justify my crazy eating, drinking and excuse for poor care in other areas of my well-being: sleep, etc. 

So I will be quiet and try patience, reverence for the day I'm living, and happiness for all that I have and am able to do. 

So now what?

I actually wrote this post last Friday, but just getting it down via typing/computer today. 

I went to the gym today with my friend.  Kids are back in school and so I can start back up with my Friday morning routine of meeting my friend at the gym and working out after I drop the kids at school.  My right knee and foot were bothering and had been bothering the past 2 days so I figured I needed to "listen" to my body and give myself a break.  I walked on the treadmill for 20 minutes at slow pace and then called it good.

When we were done with the workout and heading to the showers she asked whether I had a swim or another workout that day to fit in.  I told her "no" (like she was crazy), that I was taking a break.  I reminded her that my race was over and I normally take a week off following a race.  She asked what my plans were in the future.  I told her I'd get back into some runs next week- 3 milers or so- but nothing forced.

It is strange how I can turn it on and off so quickly.  One week I'm working out 6 days a week, sometimes twice a day and the next no scheduled workout routine, mind you any workouts at all.  I've let myself go this week.  Staying up late several nights reading, watching movies, and enjoying some "Natalie pours" of vino.  The mornings have come to early, despite sleeping in and not getting up for 5:30 runs or swims or bikes.  It is a reminder why I can't "live it up" on weekly basis. 

So I'll enjoy the week and the weekend with no long runs or scheduled workouts and regroup, refocus, and start my next adventure.  Still living on "cloud nine" and not yet come down from last weekend's race.

It was totally EPIC! Pigman Long 70.3 miles

I'm truly still on a high from Sunday's race.  It was unbelievable and I really can't believe I did it.

First I'll finish up with my training schedule to let you know what I did days leading up to the race and then will fill you on THE RACE.

Total miles leading up to the race for the week: 14 miles approximately
Ran 6 miles
Bike: 8 miles + a 10 min spin at wellness center
Swim: 0

I was pretty quiet/on edge the week before the race.  I tried to rest, but I ended up getting a "bee in my bonnet" and did a bunch of house cleaning Wednesday and cleaned out closets Thursday- crazy how different people deal with stress- I like to clean :).  In-laws came in for the weekend to help out with kids on Sunday since we would be gone most of the day.  So lucky to have them in our lives!

So now day of race...
Woke up at 4:45(that is a.m.) ate a cinnamon raisin bagel with peanut butter and had my coffee.  Left house at 5:15 a.m. only to realize we were almost on E, which is totally unlike us.  So we stopped and filled the car up and headed onto Palo, IA.  We got there about 6:15 and headed to transition- this is what it looks like with all the bikes ready.  We headed out of transition at 7 a.m. to go attend pre-race meeting.  I had heard rumblings of possible delay of race because of the fog.  Yep there was fog- kind of thought it was a sign I wasn't suppose to see the buoys out on the lake when we drove in the park- couldn't see any of the lake.    Well the fog faded and then I saw the buoys/triangle floating devices out in the water marking our swim route.  HOLY BUCKETS- what had I gotten myself into?  Hubby and I stayed together as long as possible and then like that it was time to get into my wave and get ready for the 1.2 mile swim.

I wore a wet suit, really most Pigman Long and Olympic distance participants did.  It really does give you buoyancy.  I went into the water at the end of my wave and tried to start swimming free style.  I felt myself stopping to tread/attempt breast stroke multiple times in swimming to the first triangle, but felt I wasn't going anywhere.  I went to my back for a few strokes and just swam and deep breathed.  I really that first 500 yards was ready to swim to one of the many rescue boats and jump in and say "I'm done", but I didn't and after that first turn a light switch went off in my brain and I was fine.  I started swimming free style and stopped treading/breast stroking.  I did find myself swimming off to the left instead of to the right- I just figured it was my weird crooked swimming, but others said the same thing so maybe it was current.  I likely wasted some time swimming off to the left, but after I swam past the second triangle I was on the home stretch and really swam well.  Throughout the swim I was touched, a few "love taps" by other swimmers, but I felt safe and calm.  I ended up swimming the 1.2 mile swim in 46:27.

I ran/jogged out of the water and did much better than I did at the Pigman Sprint getting through the Transition 1- 4:26.  This was enough time to strip my wet suit off, towel off, put shoes on, put Garmin on and belt with bib on it- as well as the all important food in my tri shirt (ate a GU prior to swim, ate a nature valley Peanut Butter granola bar, fruit chews, and greek yogurt covered raisins on the bike, and then another GU and orange slices on the run), helmet on head and sunglasses. 

This is what they call transition.  Kind of eerie with no athletes present.

 

I started riding.  I had been pre-warned to ride my own race and not pay attention to the high end tri bikes and equipment available.  I was likely the only Long participant who had "cage/basket" instead of clips on bike pedals.  However, didn't have to change shoes from bike to run- so that helps transition smoother.  I got about 2 miles into the ride and I remembered the bike computer.  Hubby and kids gave me an early birthday present- bike computer that tells you distance, mph, etc.  Well every time the front wheel starts rotating the computer will ask if you want "new ride- yes or no"- I didn't even look at this when I got on the bike so I started riding and the other movement of the bike I had done that morning had already triggered a "ride" earlier- so long story short- it wasn't going to accurately calculate my mileage. When I started my ride it said I had already been riding for 38 out minutes.    Now they have mile markers on the route but I was so flustered by looking at the screen and not knowing what numbers were what I  just stopped using it and instead started my Garmin up and just hoped it would last long enough (battery would last for potential 8 hour race).    Then about 6 miles in I looked down at my ankles for some reason and realized my chip was gone.  You wear a Velcro chip band on your ankle during swim and throughout the rest of the race to track your time/progress.  I was freaking out!  I didn't know what it meant- would I owe $100 (that is what they tell you about losing the chip), would I be disqualified, would my time not count?  I being one to not have fear to ask questions yelled out to any course volunteer after mile 6- "I lost my chip do you know what I do"- hubby soon passed me and he asked how I was doing- I told him I lost my chip and he always being "cool under pressure" told me to just tell course marshal when I finished bike my bib number and that "I lost my chip".   He pedaled on.  I pedaled on and was passed, passed, passed by many bikers. I stopped asking about the chip and just focused on riding. 

It was really a beautiful day. 

Now in triathlons they put your age on your calf so it is known what "age group" you are in.  So I was watching the varied age groups pass me- many older than myself.  I just couldn't seem to make any head way.  Well I had to just ride my own ride.  It was a ride.  It was hilly.  The course description was "rolling hills", but it felt more like up and down hills, not rolling.  Biking is hard for me.  By halfway point I was hurting.  I was pretty sure my "private parts" were going to be swollen for days.  I was sore!  By mile 45 I started experiencing leg tremors if I straightened my leg, which worried me because I had to get off the bike, straighten my legs, and run a 1/2 marathon. So I just kept pedaling to not experience the muscle fatigue.   My ideal goal was 4:15 for ride and I finished in 3:52.  Ecstatic I was when I saw the time, but not as ecstatic as I was to get off the bike on Sunday and be able to run with no soreness or pain.

Almost Done with the bike

Transition 2- went into the bike finish line and told them my number and that I had lost my chip.  A race official went with me to my transition area to help me look for my chip and sure enough it was stuck in my wet suit.  When I took my wet suit off after the swim the chip just stuck in the leg of wet suit.  I strapped the chip on and away I ran. 

Me after finding my chip- boy was I happy!

 

For some reason I like this picture- I'm not a little thing- I still have gymnast thighs, but my arms look pretty Burly!  See the chip on the ankle that was what I was so happy to have back on.

By now it was extremely sunny, warm, and I had to run 13.1 miles.  I knew they were going to have aid stations every mile and I was not disappointed.  I had water, cup of ice, and orange slice at each aid station.  I had brought my own fuel belt with PowerAde Zero and water and used this to keep me hydrated. They had Heed (a triathlete drink similar to the historic Gatorade used during marathons).  Hubby had tried it at the sprint we did earlier in the summer and hated it.  I tried it this time around and it was GROSS!  Not sure if it was not made correctly or what.  I was thankful for my own powerade zero.   The water from the aid station I would either drink or pour over my head.  I was so glad I had a hat.  I put ice in the hat and put hat on head and by every mile the ice was melted and ready for refill.  I also passed a fellow Tri club member and she yelled out- "put ice in your bra it will cool you down"- I tried it and she was right.  It was an out and back course and so by mile 6.5 I knew I was going to make it.  I ran all the miles except the aid station areas- even the hills.  The run was when I started catching up and passing others.  I wasn't even bothered by the heat/sun. 

I truly had an epiphany when running that part of the race- "I AM A RUNNER!"  I'm not fast or speedy nor do I have a runner's physique,  but I can run and I'm a runner!  Now I didn't have the same reaction with swim or bike, but the run I felt really good. 

I finished running a 2:26 half marathon (11:08 pace) which I was ecstatic with after all the miles of swim/bike fun. 

There were a lot of great parts of the day, but one of my favorite was coming down the last stretch- 2 miles or so- and hearing cars pass me and cheer me on/ yell out my name or my tri-club name as some participants were leaving the festivities.  Then the very last stretch there were members of my team smiling and cheering me on.  I was the last of my teammates to cross the finish line, but they were there to cheer me on and support me- no judgement and a lot of pats on the back after the race. 

One of my Tri-Club teammates who also just happens to be one of my good peep's hubby cheering me on down the final stretch.

 

My overall time was 7 hours 11 minutes.  Just writing that down seems pretty amazing to me.  I can't believe I was actively pushing my body for that long.  My ideal time was 7:30 with worse case scenario of 8:00, but it went better than I expected.  I was 9th out of 12th for my age group.  I was really happy with how this race ended up.  I still can't believe it is over.  However, I didn't finish the race and think "OK I'm ready for another one" like I've felt after finishing marathons.  I am ready for a little break!  I'm sure I'll have more to share and look back on, but for now goodnight!  Good luck to all those still training hard for this year's races- it is worth it- it really is!  Accomplishing what you set out for is so powerful. 

I'm a Runner! and I am finishing a 70.3 mile triathlon!

Week 15- Training Pigman Long 70.3

Today I start my last week of training pre Pigman Long 70.3. 

Even though this week ends with 16 weeks of training, I really feel like I have been training since January 2014: buying a rode bike and trainer for basement, joining IA HEAT (tri group), signing up for Pigman Short, and Long, learning how to swim more efficiently, and learning how to swim longer, learning how to be confident on rode bike, along with the continued long runs and lifelong learning of how to balance being mom, wife, athlete, professional, etc.

So last week of training before the "taper week" was o.k.
Total Miles: 50.14 miles
Swim: 1.14 mile
Bike: 31 miles
Run:18 miles

I came down from my Triathlon Age Group Win "high" fast when coming home from work on Monday and having a horrible headache, eating soup and heading to bed early (9 pm) Monday became my "rest day".  Tuesday I ended up running after work and was suppose to run 5 miles.  I didn't have a headache, but instead had the worse abdominal gas pains/cramps of my life.  If I could of I would have gladly "let out some gas", but nothing happened so I tortured myself for about 4.7 miles before giving in and calling it a night.  Another night of soup crackers, and to bed by 9pm. Wednesday I ran 5 miles in a "turtle pace" again after work.  No gas pains, but just felt BLAH.    Followed up by Thursday morning bike of 31 miles.  Considering the days before this I was happy to have put in some decent miles.  Saturday I did my long run of 8 miles again at a slower pace and ended the training week with 2000 yds of pool fun. 

My confidence right now is not super.  I have slacked off in my swimming and biking and at the same time know that I really can't do a whole lot about it right now. I just have to hope I've trained enough to get me through on Saturday.  It seems so surreal to write that- this Saturday- YIKES! 

So this week is kind of a hodge-podge of activities- a little swim, bike,run one day, and another day of just bike and another of just run.  I'm planning on resting as much as I can, along with staying hydrated  and eating well/carbing up.  I told someone at church this past Sunday that I wouldn't be able to be there this coming week because of the race- I told her to pray for me- would tell you to do the same. 

Week 14 training- Pigman Long

I've been so removed from writing and reading blogs lately that I didn't even realize that this post I wrote over two weeks ago never got posted.  So you are going to get two posts today- one from Week 14 and one from Week 15.  Sorry 

This past week has been a different training week, because I had to figure out how to do the training along side getting ready for a mini-sprint. 

Mileage was way down this week or so I thought and then I added it up and my 56 mile bike ride on Thursday really pushed my overall miles up there. 

Total: 79 miles
Swim: .6 miles
Bike: 70 miles
Run: 8 miles

Earlier in the week I "hit the wall" and took a rest day for mental sanity on Wednesday.  Thursday I got back "in the saddle" and did a 56 mile bike and followed it with a 2 mile run.  I did great and felt good, other than my sore A_ _.  Thursday after hubby got done with work drove home (hometown for both of us) with our kids to prep for the mini sprint we were in on Sunday.  Friday was a rest day from training, but really wasn't a "rest day".  I helped my mom, along with my sister and hubby, move boxes and other items from my parent's current home to their new home (they are down sizing).  So all that carrying, walking up and down stairs, and packing (likely not using proper ergenomics) made me extremely sore, especially my calves.  So Saturday when I awoke to "screaming" tight calves I decided no run just a ride of the route via bike for our race on Sunday.  Also participated in some much needed pool time that did not involve doing laps, but instead enjoying my kids, nephew and niece, sister, and mom.  I've missed that kind of summer pool time this year. 

Sunday came and I felt good.  The mini sprint we were in is just that mini: 250 yard swim in pool, 6.5 mile bike and 2.1 mile run.  I did really well.  I ended up doing it in 46:48. Placed 1st in my age group, and 18th overall.  I was the third female overall too.  My swim time improved about 4 minutes from the year before swim 4:57 (last year 5:01), bike was also much improved 23:44 (last year 27:58) and lastly my run was the same 18:06 (so at least not getting slower as I age :)).  It felt good to see improvement.  It also felt good to race and be efficient in my transitions.  The swim was somewhat a cluster- it was a pool swim, with participant starting every 10 seconds and swimming down and back in lanes and then moving to the next lane.  After lane one I left a highschool girl pass me and started swimming and then felt this girl swim over/around me and kept kicking me.  She was all business and there was no "sorry" etc spoken during the race.  That same girl tried to catch up with me on the run, but her labored breathing gave her away and I was able to do my end of race "kick" and come in before her.  Come to find out she is much younger than me so not my "age range" competition.  The bike was great and I felt very good throughout all 6.5 miles (kept on thinking wow- shorter distances are so much  easier- throughout the whole race).  The run also ended well and I had no wobbly legs going from bike to run so I'm hoping this again will prep my body for the stress/strain I will feel when hopping off the bike in Pigman (56.2 miles bike to a 13.1 mile run).  "Lordy what have I gotten myself into" will likely be repeated over and over throughout the upcoming 70.3 mile race in my head and out loud.  So for now I'm basking, for one day- my rest day- in the glory of a great race weekend. 

"How to be Epic"- Part II

I talked to my good friend and former BRB (best running buddy- she is now into ProFit classes).  She is one of my favorite peeps to discuss life with.  This conversation occurred on Monday.  I hadn't fully hit "the wall" but I had just got done with a swim that was mentally frustrating and I was embarrassed and disappointed that I didn't "do the time"-yards- I needed to.  I shared with her my anxiety, doubts, disappointment in my current lack of drive and follow through with my training.  She always seems to know how to be honest in a nice way. 

She posed a few questions:
"What if you took next year off and didn't sign up for anything?"
I responded somewhat saying the following... "I've thought about doing that, but never officially held myself to it.  I think I'm use to have a training schedule and think if I don't have something to train for I won't put in the time and do the workouts. Basically I'm worried I'll get lazy.  I like food and drinks too much to get lazy plus I really do like being active and know it is great "free therapy" for me mentally."

"What if you just trained for sprint tris or smaller races and not long distance races?" 
I again responded in agreement, but also deep down I like the challenge, and better yet I like accomplishing the challenge. 

I told her I was really worried I'd come to regret my current mood and the impact it may have on my race day.  To paraphrase her, because I have horrible memory and didn't write her wise words down, "will you ever feel satisfied that you did all you could in training for a race, you are really hard on yourself and your toughest critic".  She was absolutely right and this talk reminded me of Dimity McDowell's article and how honest it was about training but she also looked at the "why" we do these races. 

Tuesday I hit "the wall" and so that night I sat down and re-read her article from the April 2014 Runner's World.  I had torn it out to put in my "training" binder I keep.  Within two paragraphs into article I remembered why I could connect with this writer.  Dimity wrote...
"I can't run.  I can't swim.  I'm tired. I'm angry.  I'm hungry all the time, but nothing sounds good.  And I have no patience for anything or anybody especially my kids."
Yep been there and felt that throughout marathon training and now training for 70.3 tri.  What was my issue- why had I chosen this?  Dimity answers this when she writes
"Could I do that? Could I stop settling for mostly comfortable and truly push myself?" This in response to training for her ironman race.
"Going big isn't really about the distance.  It's about taking on something that isn't necessarily a gimme". 
I think you could also trade the "distance" for "race" and end with "It's about taking on training".  At least that is what I continue to experience throughout various training/race experiences.

Carrie Cheadel, MA and mental-skills coach in the article had a great quote "You really have to focus on and work for an epic race.  It takes everything in you to accomplish tough goal and when you do that, it feels incredible".  I'm definitely hooked by that "incredibility" factor.  Even when finishing my first marathon I crossed the finish line feeling euphoric/accomplished/exceptional and I liked that feeling and so know that is another draw to "epic races" or "going long".

I wonder how many other racers felt Dimity was writing about them when writing
"I wanted to feel the crazy-wow highs (and survive the despondent lows) that come with going way outside my comfort zone and the exponentially amplified confidence and satisfaction that grow from hanging out there."

Should I have gotten a coach? I don't think so but as noted in this article "it's easy to overestimate what you're going to be capable of doing physically and schedule-wise.  A coach keeps you on track."
Maybe, but honestly I don't know that I would have trained much harder, longer, faster, but it is one of the variables I do sometimes ponder.  I didn't have a coach with any previous training schedules, but I did have a training schedule some expert developed that led my training schedule (Hal Higdon historically for all my marathons and 1/2 marathons, except the one I followed by the "another mother runner own it plan", and now the Super Simple 70.3 training plan by Matt Fitzgerald).  However, with almost all these plans/schedules I revised them.  Were these revisions to the plan variables against my participation on race day?  Cheadle again had another great line that ensured I wasn't the only weirdo out there "I like to remind my athletes that the doubt is part of what they signed up for." So these doubts of mine are normal- not that I am :). 

Again Dimity finishes the article with a post race "Now what?"...
"Now that I know I can do it, there's always something bigger... Going big can turn into a chase-your-tail game that threatens to diminish the rewards of committing to and training for an epic- or really any- race."
This will be something I need to remember after the race and stop and don't go right to "now what?".  Somehow, I think I will take a little break after this, but knowing me it won't be long because I'll miss the routine, the workouts, the discussion with friends about current training woe's and accomplishments.  If anything my rest day yesterday did reinvigorate me, because as I get ready to walk out the door to ride 56 miles and run 2 miles I'm not scared/ I'm not dreading it/ I'm just ready!
Thanks Dimity for this great article.  I have a feeling I will continue to re-read this over the years. 

"How to be Epic"- Part I

by Dimity McDowell (co-author of Run Like a Mother and Train like a Mother books and Another Mother Runner website/blog, etc) came out in the April 2014 Runner's World.  I remember reading it back then and really connecting with what she had written.  I'm hitting "the wall" in my training and so thought it would be good to re-read this article along with go through all my fun "Pinterest" quotes and sayings to try to get remotivated/reinvigorated.  Plus if I don't change something soon it is going to be a long couple of weeks before Pigman 70.3 and an even longer race day.

This attitude or mood has been brewing for awhile...
Saturday night 9 pm and I'm winding down the day while hubby is watching a movie downstairs.  I'm hitting the wall hard!  My feet hurt, my legs feel like dead logs, my inner thighs are so pissed off at me for forgetting to apply the anit-chafe glide to them before my long run this morning. So chafed that I've applied a big old surgical bandaid to the inner left thigh to cover the strawberry I have from my thighs getting to know each other too much this morning (side note- my hubby didn't get what I was trying to explain to him when I told him my thighs had chafing-  "from you shorts"- him "a no from the thighs getting to close to each other"- my response "I've never heard of that"- him "that's because you are a foot taller than me and don't have gymnast thighs"- me).  My back is sore and stiff.  My arms feel like wet noodles flopping around.  All of these feelings for the "love" of training for Pigman 70.3. 

I've worked hard, but am starting to slow; my normal signs of fatigue: slower times for training runs, bikes, etc.  I'm short tempered (the kids normal not listening to mom is throwing me into "white trash" yelling days).  I'm just so tired.  I think right now I could turn the lights out and go to sleep.  I'm already thinking about how tomorrow could be a "rest day" when really I'm suppose to bike, swim and run- UGH!

So that was Saturday night... Sunday I ended up only swimming.  Monday I swam again (piss poor- not because of physical pain, but mental and excuses: I only did 1000, suppose to do 2000 yd- but competing with swimming with three people/lane on top of being lapped by the same guy over and over again (I'm pretty sure he was the guy with the Ironman WI backpack at the side of the pool).  I just had to stop.  Then the final "wall" came Tuesday morning when I went for my 6 mile run at 5:35 a.m.  I ran about a 10 min/mile pace for two miles and then chose to stop and turn around and head home.  Notice I didn't say "run home" because there was no more running.  There was only walking.  When this quick little "mother runner" ran by me at my 3 of walking I felt like a fraud- sure I had a Tropical Tri Race t-shirt on, but I was walking, not running, biking or swimming, etc.  I decided I was done.  I just couldn't force myself to run- totally all mental and mental fatigue/pain is tougher for me than physical fatigue/pain (don't get me wrong I'm a red head and "they" say redheads have the lowest pain threshold, but maybe this includes mental pain too).  So I got home and decided I'm taking tomorrow off.  No early runs/bikes or swims after work.  Tomorrow I will just "rest". Then I will put my big girl pants back on and resume training.  I will ride a long ride on Thursday followed by a two mile run.  I will then prepare for my sprint tri on Sunday.  I have no other choice.  I don't want to give up and I don't want to fail. 

Irony is receiving the above to my Hotmail account on Tuesday morning after hitting the "wall"- Think someone from Pinterest or higher power is trying to tell me "buck up lil' camper".

 

I'll keep you posted on what I gleam from the re-read of Dimity McDowell's "How to be Epic" article and if I've discovered any solutions to treating the "training crabbies" .

 

Week 13 training Pigman Long 70.3

Can't believe only 3 more weeks until the big race. This coming week I have the Oswego I Tried a Tri race back home.  It is a sprint (mini sprint really) 250 yard swim, 6 mile bike and 2 mile run.  So I normally have a taper/rest week the week before the race, but alas I will still need to do at least a big bike this week.  Kind of screws up my training schedule, but I'm kind of feeling like I'm not really doing a good job following the training plan anyways.

Total mileage this week: 75
Swim: 2miles
Bike: 49
Run: 24

My swim on Friday was BLAH!  I have the total "end of training" crabbies.  My arms were dead on Friday- not sure if it was the household manual labor I did on Thursday after the long bike ride or what, but my arms just felt exhausted, which isn't the norm. I just couldn't do the full 2000 and made it 1750 before giving in and getting out of the pool.   My run mileage was good this week.  I felt really exhausted Friday and sore all over by Friday night, this is a norm the day after a long ride, so I used my son's "super bouncy ball" as a massage ball and tried to work out the tight muscles in the legs and then went to bed reasonably early. 

Got up Saturday and head out for the run at around 6:10.  Two hours and 8 minutes later I was done.  I felt tons better than I thought I was going to, which is always a nice feeling.  After the run I got on my bike and road to breakfast with the family.  It was a relaxing ride, "coach" (aka hubby) said he wouldn't count our 7 mile bike as a bike for training mileage because it was at a ridiculously slow pace, but I however, am going to count every mile I can. 

I slacked on the bike rides this week, other than the 42 mile, and I just couldn't force myself to get on the bike again after swimming today so I'm being a slacker and saying screw it and instead enjoying a nice leisurely afternoon doing nothing (HA- yeah right- laundry, dinner prep, reading, writing, trying to ignore my arguing children).

This coming week will be a good rest week for me- forced due to the race.  I'm hoping it will rid me of some of "crabbiness".  Onward HO!

Week 11 and 12 training Pigman 70.3

Week 11 flew by.  We were without our kids for the week and so took advantage of time with "coach" to do some training.  Here is what I accomplished:

Total miles: 84
Swim: 2 miles
Bike: 62 miles
Run: 20 miles

I dropped one run and one bike from the schedule, but got 2 swims in.
I did 2 longer rides, but not in my eyes or training schedule "long enough"
The long run was horrendous- 14 miles total: 7 miles run and then a 7 mile run/walk with two out of the last 3 miles walking.  I was spent.  My shoes for some reason are giving me blisters and so some more were produced during this run and walking was less painful and irritating.  One of the new blisters was saying "hello" from the bottom of my foot. 
My long ride was suppose to be 60 miles, but I did only 50 and I was suppose to run for 10 minutes after but when I was done with the bike I was done!
I mentally wasn't into the long bike ride.  I mentally wanted to jump ship about mile 13- "the coach" and I were riding together so he really helped me keep going.  I appreciated his support, but also didn't like it because I felt like I was holding him back from having a faster training bike and also during the race I have to do it on my own- no "coach" by my side.  I really hit bottom in week 11.  I felt like I had reverted to my old "training self" the one who is being mentally and physically challenged by every workout.  I thought I had tamed this devil with the "fishbowl fall" a few years ago.  That fall and being sidelined from running for a month really made me appreciate the health and physical ability I had.  I need to find that appreciation again.

Week 12
Total:81 miles
Swim: 1 mile
Bike: 59 miles
Run:21 miles

Vacation kind of messes with the schedule, even when I got up three out of the five days I was in the Dells with family.  So I got my runs for the week done pretty quickly this week- ran three days in a row.  On my second run of the week my Nike TOM TOM (GPS running watch) finally kicked the bucket.  The screen was not visible- looked like a blob had melted across the whole screen.  Ordering a new base line Garmin- hope it comes soon. "Coach" and I are sharing his Garmin until mine comes in. 

Besides some running technology malfunction on vacation I also continued to be plagued by the lack or inability to "get it done" per what was ordered on my training schedule.  Only biked twice and the long one was suppose to be 4 hours but I could only tolerate 3 hours on the trainer.  I couldn't ride outside due to the kids being home with me on Thursday and Friday (no camp due to being in the Dells earlier in the week).  The kids enjoyed some morning movie time while I pedaled for three hours.  For some reason my butt hurts when sitting on the trainer way more than it does when I'm outside riding. 

We also had visitors this weekend and did a ton of landscaping so my Saturday was a "work day" in the yard, but no bike, swim or run.  So I made up for the two days off I had this week by doing all three disciplines today: swam 2000 yards in pool, came home and rode bike outside for an hour and 30 minutes and then finished the trifecta up with a two mile run.  Felt good to get all three workouts in today. 

Despite not getting all the scheduled workouts in I still managed to get in some good quality workouts and mileage.  Back to the "schedule" this week.  Going to be hot so going to try and push myself in the heat to simulate the heat I may have to deal with when I do Pigman Long- countdown 4 weeks left of training. 

Week 10 Training for 70.3- Reality Hits- I will likely be last in my age group.

What does this mean- it means I'm realizing that I will likely finish this race, but not sure how speedy I will be.  I looked at times from last year's race and I can hang with the swim time as a middle of the packer, but my bike and run times are slower putting me likely last to come in for my age group.  Now I don't think I'll be dead last- maybe I will- but last year some guy finished in 10 hours- shoot me now if I'm still out there at 10 hours- no really don't shoot me (you know I'm anti guns and everything so shooting not permitted). 

So besides hitting reality last week during training I accomplished the following and had a few other thoughts.

Total mileages: 89.17
Swim: 2.17 mile
Bike:  68 miles
Run: 19 miles

A lot of mileage right!  Well yes so why do I feel like last week was a disappointing week of training.  Here are a few I came up with.

1. Monday Swim was suppose to do at least 2000 yds.  I didn't even want to go to the pool.  So I felt like it was an accomplishment that I found my way after a busy day at work to swim in rec center pool.  I swam 1250 free style and then did 250 of kickboard.  My comment for my daily training journal on that day says it best: "Hope this doesn't come back to bite me".  Reference to slacking off and not doing the distance I was suppose to.

2. My long run of 13 miles was slow as molasses.  It lasted almost 2 1/2 hours.  Now this time would not at all bother me if I had already swam 1.2 miles, and biked 56 miles like I will have to in the race, but I didn't do anything but run 13 miles that day.  My legs were dead. Mid run I new I had a blister on the pinky toe of my left foot.  I took off my shoe at the end and couldn't believe that the blister hadn't popped- it was huge!  I was just going through the motions on that run and trying to get the mileage done, which I did, but not pretty picture at the end.

3. At the end of my 50 mile bike ride with hubby (aka coach) instead of feeling pride for getting some major mileage under my belt all I could think about was "I have 6 more miles on the bike and a 1/2 marathon to complete during the race". 

It is middle of my training and I'm at high mileage training time and am getting my typical burned out/crabby/doubting self.  I'm also heavily questioning my sanity.  I'm seriously wondering "What in the hell did I get myself into?  70.3 Really, why couldn't I just start out a little smaller with like an Olympic distance race?"

Well a week has gone by and this current week of training hasn't been much better or easier.  I've had a sudden change in attitude over the last few days though- trying to take it day by day and not beat myself up too bad mentally.  I'm also just trying to stick with getting the mileage in even if it means going slower or walking during some of my runs.  We will see if this all "comes back to bite me" in less than 6 weeks!

Week 8 and 9 training for Pigman 70.3

I meant to post on week 8 training on my way to Myrtle Beach, but never got around to it. So here is one post for two weeks if training. Week 8 Total- 75.54 miles Swim- 1.74 miles Bike- 63 miles Run- 10.8 miles I had planned to be heavy on biking miles because I wouldn't be biking my week at the beach. I accomplished that. I would've or should've gotten in another run but I chose a birthday party, and writing group instead of fitting that extra run in among packing for vacation. Week 9 Total - 28.28 miles Swim- 1.53 miles Bike- 0 Run- 26.75 miles My goal was to run 4 times and swim four times. I made the run goal and am happy with the miles I covered in the SC heat and humidity. I only swam twice though. The first day I felt pretty good in the open water of the Atlantic Ocean in my wet suit. The second day we went much farther and we turned around to head back to where we came from it was so crazy. I felt like I was caught in a washing machine tumbling and fumbling, taking in salt water, gagging and being challenged with the inability of my goggles to stay appropriately sealed. Salt water on the eyeballs is harsh. I even tried to just close my eyes and swim in the dark but then I really felt like I was in the drum of a dark washing machine. After that day I just had no desire to tackle it again. So the next day I just said no and the fourth day I was physically expired due to the 12 miler in the heat. So as I travel back home today I look at this week 10 of training- two swims, 3 bikes and 3 runs. That is my goal. Likely toughest week yet- 50 miler bike and 13 mile run plus all the other minor runs,bikes and swims:). Oh and just because I need it going to do the 30 day core challenge from "eat,drink and be skiny". Need this! Onward to week 10.

Week 7 training for Pigman 70.3

The summer is flying by and I really feel like all time is accounted for now until August 19th, when the kids go back to school.  I feel the same for my summer of training.  I'm at week 8 of my training schedule and looking forward to how to get it all done this week, but I'm getting ahead of myself and need to look back at last week. 

Last week's stats:
Swim: 3200 meters
Bike: 53 miles
Run: 21.4 miles
Total: 65 miles

That is a lot of time working out right?  Well why then did I step on the scale this morning and find I had gained another lb?  Now I'm not a scale person, but I have been trying to weigh myself once weekly to try and keep myself honest about my intake.  So where had I gone wrong last week?  What a way to start a Monday...

I don't want to sound whiny or wimpy, but why oh why would I be gaining weight working out that much?  Well it all comes back to a few things: moderation, intake, and possible being a girl- sorry TMI- "time of the month".  So I've never been great at moderation (which is a theme of most of my life- I can't just read one Newberry Award winner, I think I need to read them all to really say I've done something).  I can't just have one glass of wine I have to have at least two.  Etc, etc, etc.  So what do I do?  I can't go back to the "cleanse eating" I was doing at the beginning of the year- although I really liked the number I saw on the scale, but I just can't risk being not well fueled, low energy, tired, and crabby right now.  I need to find a balance.  I think that is likely a theme for my life- balance. 

I have been putting in the time with swim, bike and run (not perfect). Last week I was supposed to do 4200 meters for swim and only did 3200 meters, but I got the "monkey" off my back when I swam 80 laps of free style straight for 2000 meters.  So if I can put in the time I also have to put in the time for fueling.  I know it isn't rocket science, it is about decision making, but when you are an "emotional eater"/"rewarder" like me you find decision making isn't always logical because of emotions.  I know I'm a broken record, but when I've biked 40 miles and run 15 minutes after that bike I think "wow I deserve some yummy drinks and food tonight".  Or "I'm so exhausted (typically occurs at work about 2pm daily) I need to go get coffee"- well then the coffee turns into a peanut butter cookie, because well "I ran this morning".

So day by day different choices will need to be made/have to be made.  I will have to find a different way to "reward" myself or "comfort" myself. I need to eat or think like my coworker/my good friend who doesn't believe in diets, but believes in healthy eating- making smart choices.  I also got to thinking that another thing I was making a priority during the "cleanse diet" in January was the strength training as part of the exercise program.  Not sure quite how I will fit this in, but I have to find a way.   Some of my tri friends have stated that during "the season" they just can't focus on weight training, but something to work on during "off season".  Strength training also isn't for weight loss only, but also to strengthen parts of my body that need and have to be strong to perform for 70.3 miles.  The muscles most needed strengthening: abs, glutes, back, and arms.  The part of my body that hurt the most after the 39 mile bike and then brick to run for 15 minutes- my lower right back- the area I fell with the "fish tank" injury few years ago.  I tried to do some deep breathing like I learned way back in beginner yoga classes to help ease the pain.  All I could think about when running was in the race I will need to ride 56 miles and then run a 1/2 marathon. I best suck up this pain I'm only having to endure for 15 minutes, because the race will be much longer and harder. 

So although a successful, but challenging week of workouts I continue to feel challenged by this whole training for 70.3. I guess if it wasn't so challenging everyone would be doing it. Each week has brought something interesting or eye opening or something to learn or be taught from.  One week it was the Open Water Swim, one week was the need for a physical Break, and on and on and on. 

Break Week

I'm almost a week behind my normal/regular posts of books I read for the month and training/miles recap for the month.  I jut feel checked out this week- like I need a break.

 

Maybe it is the post-race recovery week.  Maybe it is the fact that I've had some late nights- one accompanied by quite a few "natalie pours".  I've given myself this week.  Instead of stressing about all that I'm not accomplishing I'm trying to savor this break or brief breathe of a less jam-packed life.

Now don't get me wrong I haven't just been eating bon bons (although I indulged in oreo balls with the "natalie pours").  I've done some workouts, but I also again took them at a more leisurely pace.  I stayed up late finishing a good mystery with the rest of the house sleeping.  Laundry of course is always done and a few healthy meals served to the family, but just a little slower pace.

Staying up late and eating unhealthy and indulging in vino and spending time with friends/books aren't the norm if I want to function fully as mom, wife, professional, and triathlete, but the break week is a good reminder of how we chose our life's path, with of course guidance and all knowing power of "the one/the being". 

So I will get reinvigorated and return to training, better sleep schedule, and ever constant struggle to be the best mom, wife and "fueler of my body" I can be.  Bust just for the next few days I will be a little less "on".  A good way to start the summer life and get recharged for the life ahead.

Off to ride on trainer and watch a movie- I know it is beautiful outside, but I really just want to sit in the basement and be able to watch a movie I've checked out twice now, but too tired to actually watch.  "The years are short, but the days long" (someone famous said this once and I'm pretty certain it was a multitasking woman!). 

Week 5- 70.3 Training

Mileage for week: Ran 12, Bike 25.6, and Swam 2900.

I ended the training week with the Pigman Sprint, which I've already wrote on.  Looking back at last week I swam 3 times (which was the most in one week I have swam- other than those days back when I was a kid and would go to the pool daily), biked twice and ran 4 times.  It was a good week and swimming twice in open water and then once in the pool helped me get my "monkey off my back" for the Sprint on Sunday.

After races I always analyze and talk in my head and sometimes out loud about the would of/could of moments in a race.  Swimming time was o.k., but if I had just kept swimming, how much better could it have been.  I biked faster than I have been biking during the week, but looking ahead (which I love to do) I need to crank in some more revolutions so I'm closer to 18 miles/hour so I'm not on the bike forever during Pigman Long.  Lastly, I need to go back to one long run, one run 1/2 of my long for the week, and then one day of speedwork.  I need the endurance to get me through the end of the race.  I also need the mental experience of pushing myself further or else come race day it will be a challenge. 

So onto another week of training... Happy Trails to you, until we meet again :)!

Pigman Sprint Triathlon

Pigman Sprint- Done!

 

I had to write a separate post for this one- the miles will definitely get added to my Pigman 70.3 training quest and I will write on this week's training later, but I just wanted to reflect on this little something I accomplished today.  Pigman Sprint Triathalon in Palo, IA. 

 

Here are the stats:

Time overall: 1:45:19

Place 439

Gender Place: 131

Division Place 20 (out of 31)

Swim(500m) 11:28

Bike (15.6 mile) 58:43

Run (5K) 29:03

T1 (transition from swim to bike): 4:42

T2 (transition from bike to run) 1:22

 

What does all of this really mean- well a lot! 

 

The swim was better than I hoped for, but I didn't do the best I physically know I can.  I swam to much breast stroke and went to my back 3 x's due to feeling like I could get farther going that way instead of sticking and getting in rhythm with my free style.  I needed my coach- AKA Susan "the mermaid" there to be telling me to just keep swimming and focus on reaching out and pulling down instead of making excuses to breast stroke and backstroke.  However, I finished the swim and didn't drown or need rescue help.  I sucked getting out of the water.  I walked out, not ran out. I was so happy to be done with the swim.

I feel like I lost transition time just by not having little things like my fruit chews not open and I was struggling to get those darn kid proofed fruit snacks open :) before hopping on the bike. 

 

The bike was good.  Well good for me.  This was something I was concerned about, because I historically of late haven't been reaching 15 mile/hour pace like I wanted to, but I did it today.  However, looking at the overall area I could improve in regarding time really was the bike.  I need to just bike more and push it. 

 

Off the bike I felt good starting my run and my T2 time was fast.  As usual I felt like should've had a faster 5K time based on the few times I glanced down at my watch- was trying to keep my pace under 9 min mile.  However, I finished strong and finished the race safe and sound.

 

Following the race the only thing that really bothered me was not really my "sits bone" but the left inner thigh area attached to the left butt bone- sorry TMI.  Just another reason I need to "sit in the saddle" for longer periods of time.  Think my butt/inner thigh was just whining about the ride.  Afterwards caught up with hubby- who finished ahead of me (big surprise- not) and members of IA HEAT- the tri group I'm a member of.  I really can't say enough about how lucky I was to come upon these people.  They have been supportive, encouraging, great mentors and many good friends. 

 

What I learned from this race:

1. I'm in a whole new caliber of athletes.  Walking around getting ready for the race this morning I was surrounded by athletes.  Their bodies were fit, lean, and sculpted.  They are competitors!  I was definitely a "newbe", but like looking forward to aspiring to be like many of them.

 

2. I liked that they put our ages on our calves (well actually they put the age you will be at the end of the year- so I had a big old 38 on both calves).  I didn't quite get this until I got on the bike and it was motivating to be able to pass 28 year olds,  but at the same time was humbling to be passed by a 57 year old female. Never been so interested in looking at other's calves.

 

3. I have to swim- not breast stroke, but swim and that will make the swim go by that much quicker- especially when I jump from swimming 500 m to 1.2 mile in Pigman 70.3.

 

4. Have to somehow get faster on the bike.

 

5. Pigman 70.3 is going to be TOUGH!  I will need to train during sun and heat to get used to potential race day environment because there is no shade cover on this course and I'm going to be out there a lot longer next time.  I have a lot to work on, but I'm actually feeling pretty good about it. 

 

This is me after the race.  We didn't have spectators there so made hubby take some pics of me afterwards. 

Left: One of the awesome ladies to help mentor me into my first Open Water Swim Tri.  Above: IA HEAT: look at all those Pigs.  We got 2nd for Club winners. 

Hubby/AKA Coach did great.  He beat me in the swim which I think is a first- darn my mental fatigue and not just swimming my freestyle.  Another goal for Pigman 70.3- don't let hubby beat me on swim.  He passed me on the bike with 3 miles to go- wouldn't be a typical tri if he didn't pass me on the bike :).  I'm so lucky to have such a supportive husband and partner in this crazy "training" lifestyle we lead.  While I was napping this afternoon he was pitcher for the kid's "handball game" in the basement.  He seems to fit all in.