Well great news on Friday when I went to the doctor- I'm free of crutches. My tibia is healing well and they are super happy with my range of motion. They being my surgeon and PT.
So after he said I could walk no brace, no crutches I started. Wow was that a gut check. I don't know why I thought I'd just walk normal after major knee surgery and no weight bearing for 6 weeks. I couldn't believe my gait. My awkward stance and stepping.
I feel like I'm walking like a person who needs knee surgery not had surgery. My gait is really quite comical. No offense to my father and father in-law (one has had hip replaced and the other likely needs something on his hip) but I'm walking like them, but much slower. They'd beat me in a foot race.
My first day was awkward, but I felt like it was going to get better. My biggest issue wasn't my knee but the fact that my right foot felt like it was permanently asleep. Again thanks to no weight bearing for 6 weeks the pressure of my body weight into that right foot was waking up nerve endings that hadn't been activated in a awhile. So most of Friday I thought I was walking gimpy because of the fact I couldn't find good footing on my half asleep right foot.
The next day I got up and had more feeling in that right foot, but again felt really gimpy. I lurched around the house trying to do things I hadn't done in 6 weeks without major help: laundry, picked up bathroom, made breakfast, etc. By mid afternoon I looked down at my knee and it was really swollen. Through all of the past 6 weeks I really haven't had extreme swelling, so to look down and see my right knee twice the size as my left was a little concerning. So up my feet went, on went the ice and took some Tylenol. The rest of the day was just me again feeling disconnected from the family because mom can't play basketball, football or hand-ball in the basement with the rest of the gang. Mom is back to being crabby because her knee is swollen and she can't walk.
I headed to bed hoping a nights sleep would help the swelling go down and my spirits to lift. It worked for awhile this morning when I awoke. My knee looked less swollen, but my calves hurt like someone had made me do 100's of toe raises. Again a reminder that I hadn't used these muscles for 6 weeks. So I took it easier today, more time with my feet up and even took a nap this afternoon. Those who know me know that for me to take a nap is a sign I'm exhausted- this case both mentally and physically.
So of course my mind starts to spin and I wonder "now what". I'm so inpatient, I'm so tired of this and getting frustrated. Worried about how the heck I will gimp around work and when I'll be able to get back to normal daily living activities. When I'll be able to walk with a normal gait. I'm laughing at the fact I was asking my surgeon about when I'll be able to run again, when I can't hardly take a step without wincing. This too shall pass. I know I have so much to be thankful/grateful for, but I'm having a moment of self-pity and then will move on. I hope to look back one day in the not to far off future and laugh at how quickly I came back to my real life- my running life.