Silence

I'm not good at this one.

I'm not good at being quiet or silent.

Even when I'm being quiet or silent my brain is still "chatty".

I'm a goal oriented person, or at least I like to think I am.

I recently finished an "EPIC" challenge, but within the last almost three weeks, since finishing this "EPIC" feat I find myself down, tired, injured, fatter and not as smiley as I was when crossing the finish line of a 7 hour 11 minute race.  Granted anyone who is smiling when finishing a 7 hour 11 minute race is pretty crazy.

So do I have Post-Race blues?  Maybe.

Did I indulge too much, am still indulging in too much, post race celebration: drinks, treats, no food moderation, staying up to late, not getting up to do workouts?  I think you probably know the answer to this.

Likely, it is the reality that has hit me:  two weeks post race when riding my bike with hubby along Lake Shore Drive I felt a little pull at the lateral side of my right knee- the one I tore my ACL 22years ago.   I continued to be bothered with the biking, forcing only a 16 mile bike ride instead of a 25 miler.  The knee has continued to be an issue and led me to x-rays showing "foreign body" and early signs of osteoarthritis (didn't realize, but common in those who tear their ACL).  These finding then prompted a MRI to get a better picture at "these foreign bodies" (foreign bodies doesn't mean I have a "matchbox car in my knee" but means "something" isn't where it is suppose to be- cartilage, bone, etc.).  Still awaiting the results of the MRI and until getting results am holding off on running, biking, swimming, because knee keeps buckling or acting like it is going to give out with standing from chairs, etc.  So I'm a "slug".

So "EPIC" feat almost three weeks ago and now "DOWN in DUMPS" and looking and feeling like "DUMPY" gal because of my food/drink/and inactivity. 

What's a girl to do?  Well I put my "big girl pants" on and went to an organizational/professional  meeting tonight. I think a higher being knew I needed to go to this meeting. The topic for the meeting was "self care: importance of taking care of yourself so you can take care of others".  I learned about Vital Signs for healthcare providers i.e. Nurses... BPTPR (Sharon Tucker's acronym- UIHC)
BP stands for BE PRESENT- "life is happening now" so "BE PRESENT" and enjoy it.
T- tracking your health and well being as a way to hold you accountable: weight, cholesterol, activity, intake, etc.  I don't always think weight on the scale is mentally a good thing for me to monitor regularly, but tracking my activity, intake, etc is. 
P- Practice: practice the healthy skills you need; eating well, being active, etc
R- Refueling: What helps you refuel?  Now some of the things that help me "refuel" I'm not able to do until I get cleared to go back to full activity so this "refueling" is somewhat hard right now because I do "refuel" by being active, but I have other "refueling" activities so will just have to tap into them right now. 

So back to the drawing board I will go to try and BE Present, Track my progress in self care, Practice healthy living activities, while Refueling and rebooting my system. 

I'm so glad my knee issue occurred weeks after the "EPIC Race"- feel extremely lucky to be dealing with this now after my racing season has ended.  I think someone is trying to tell me I can't rely on "activity" as a way to justify my crazy eating, drinking and excuse for poor care in other areas of my well-being: sleep, etc. 

So I will be quiet and try patience, reverence for the day I'm living, and happiness for all that I have and am able to do.