So life is busy and I constantly feel like I'm running and planning my day down to the minutes. Tonight no difference. I planned to leave around 5pm head to the pool and get in the pool and swim my 1000 yds before daughter's swim lessons at 6 pm. So I get to the pool and find every lane except one with two swimmers so I walk up to the only lane that has one and say "We're going to have to share the lane". She said "what." And I repeated myself. She stated "You need to ask me and not use that tone".
I walked away and started getting changed and I truly believe God or whatever higher being you believe in knew I needed a break. A guy got out of a lane a ways away from lady in solo lane and he smiled and I said, with of course a "change in tone"-"Are you done?" Yep and he was on his way.
I got in the water and started swimming and knew by my breathing that the lady had really bothered me-I know big surprise. I asked myself- "was I in the wrong, why didn't she see that herself taking the whole lane with up with her floatation device and noodle not even doing laps but water exercise was just as rude as my "tone, why couldn't she see that I was a mom trying to multitask and have my kido sit nicely with her 'hidden dinner- bc you know no food in pool' IPad and books and try and squeeze in a needed 1000, why couldn't she just not be a ----- and just move over and let me deal with getting this done?"
I know I can be better and behave better, but I felt OK walking away- and I'm sure she has some choice thoughts about that ----- with the kid and 'tone' at the pool.
Why did this bother me- because I was already stressed about trying to swim faster, 'longer', breath every 3rd stroke, switching sides when breathing and not stopping at the wall- this all learned the other night at my swim evaluation with lady who teaches private lessons and I met through my tri club. (Digression from above- she said my stroke was good, I needed to elongate my body, reach out and pull down with my arms, work on interval swimming- 1 fast lap followed by 2 recovery, no breaks, work on every 3rd breath d/t the more you breath/more frequent the more energy expenditure- it was a great evaluation and lots to work on. The biggest goal was when I told her my goal of 1/2IM she said I just need to work on endurance and time- goal of 1000yd in 20 minutes- right now I'm swimming 1000 in about 35. She says she feels that is very doable, but I left feeling pretty overwhelmed and thinking " what did I get myself into".
So I need to not let my internal stress affect my outward emotions. I really don't know that I would have said what I did any differently, but maybe I wouldn't have to stew over it soon much. With that I'm letting go- this is done, on toward another day.