This attitude or mood has been brewing for awhile...
Saturday night 9 pm and I'm winding down the day while hubby is watching a movie downstairs. I'm hitting the wall hard! My feet hurt, my legs feel like dead logs, my inner thighs are so pissed off at me for forgetting to apply the anit-chafe glide to them before my long run this morning. So chafed that I've applied a big old surgical bandaid to the inner left thigh to cover the strawberry I have from my thighs getting to know each other too much this morning (side note- my hubby didn't get what I was trying to explain to him when I told him my thighs had chafing- "from you shorts"- him "a no from the thighs getting to close to each other"- my response "I've never heard of that"- him "that's because you are a foot taller than me and don't have gymnast thighs"- me). My back is sore and stiff. My arms feel like wet noodles flopping around. All of these feelings for the "love" of training for Pigman 70.3.
I've worked hard, but am starting to slow; my normal signs of fatigue: slower times for training runs, bikes, etc. I'm short tempered (the kids normal not listening to mom is throwing me into "white trash" yelling days). I'm just so tired. I think right now I could turn the lights out and go to sleep. I'm already thinking about how tomorrow could be a "rest day" when really I'm suppose to bike, swim and run- UGH!
So that was Saturday night... Sunday I ended up only swimming. Monday I swam again (piss poor- not because of physical pain, but mental and excuses: I only did 1000, suppose to do 2000 yd- but competing with swimming with three people/lane on top of being lapped by the same guy over and over again (I'm pretty sure he was the guy with the Ironman WI backpack at the side of the pool). I just had to stop. Then the final "wall" came Tuesday morning when I went for my 6 mile run at 5:35 a.m. I ran about a 10 min/mile pace for two miles and then chose to stop and turn around and head home. Notice I didn't say "run home" because there was no more running. There was only walking. When this quick little "mother runner" ran by me at my 3 of walking I felt like a fraud- sure I had a Tropical Tri Race t-shirt on, but I was walking, not running, biking or swimming, etc. I decided I was done. I just couldn't force myself to run- totally all mental and mental fatigue/pain is tougher for me than physical fatigue/pain (don't get me wrong I'm a red head and "they" say redheads have the lowest pain threshold, but maybe this includes mental pain too). So I got home and decided I'm taking tomorrow off. No early runs/bikes or swims after work. Tomorrow I will just "rest". Then I will put my big girl pants back on and resume training. I will ride a long ride on Thursday followed by a two mile run. I will then prepare for my sprint tri on Sunday. I have no other choice. I don't want to give up and I don't want to fail.
Irony is receiving the above to my Hotmail account on Tuesday morning after hitting the "wall"- Think someone from Pinterest or higher power is trying to tell me "buck up lil' camper".
I'll keep you posted on what I gleam from the re-read of Dimity McDowell's "How to be Epic" article and if I've discovered any solutions to treating the "training crabbies" .