So Tuesday a.m. I woke up at 4:44 a.m. to my daughter crying. She wanted to come and sleep with me and hubby. Now if it were lets say 6 a.m. I'd say sure, but 4:44 a.m. it is not snuggly/wuggly time it is "let me please get another 45 minutes of sleep before I need to get up and go for a 5 mile run" time. But, alas, my 4 year old is winning out lately and it is making it not fun to be around her. She is screaming, crying, stomping her feet, throwing things- she is having a TANTRUM and did I say she is 4- UGH! So I said "screw it" and let her get in bed between hubby and me.
Well then I couldn't back to sleep. I was bothered that my daughter was lying next to me in bed sleeping peacefully and I wasn't sleeping peacefully. I started doing my "what am I doing wrong, why is she acting this way, what am I doing to not stop the behavior" oh and then the random "when am I going to fit in an oil change for the minivan?".
So after about 20 minutes of lying there I said "screw it" and got up and just started my run earlier than planned. I tried a new running accessory this a.m.- Head lamp. Yep- I'm officially a running geek- when I get the fluorescent running vest than I will reach the ultimate "Running Geek" status. The head lamp worked great and I needed it for that early of a run. Although I'm loving the cooler running mornings it stinks that they are darker running mornings now- O.k. enough of the running tangent.
I returned home, took a shower, got dressed for work and my bathroom door opened and the "hellish 4 year old" says " mommy I like your outfit"- is she bipolar? So i kiss her goodbye and off to work.
Three hours later I'm sitting at the workplace and I'm already hitting exhaustion- did I mention it is only 8 a.m. Well I made it through the day and then went and picked up "the 4 year old" who came bounding up daycare stairs singing "no crying/ no whining at drop off or preschool". (Another story for another time, but the short story- the first 2 weeks of transitioning to a new daycare room and a new preschool room she cried either at drop off or going from her daycare room to the preschool room which is all within the same building; hence the song at pick up). Skip forward to bath time- MELT DOWN CITY! I swear I'm waiting for the police to show up at my door because of how ear piercing the screams are coming out our open windows. My son helped me quickly close as many windows as we could due to her screams/crying. He knows the routine pretty well by now due to her gracing us with her TANTRUMS on an almost every other day basis recently. After forcing her to be in her room- shutting door and walking away- I returned to ask her to join me and son in nightly reading. She fell asleep during my reading of "Stormy"- third book in the Misty of Chincoteague series. I carried her to bed and exhaled as she said "goodnight mommy".
And then I realized... Today is 9/11- no I realized that about oh mid-morning, but I reminded myself that after both kids were safely, soundly asleep in bed. I remind myself that today's morning escapades and later night escapades with my youngest are nothing compared to what could be happening, what I could be thinking about or remembering in a horrible "first person" way.
So what if I had to get up earlier than planned- I was able to run- safely.
So what if I have a 4 year old that is pushing all the worst "chattynatty mommy" buttons- at least I'm able to have those buttons pushed, not like some of those unfortunate moms and dads that got to experience 9/11 in the "first person".
So what if I am not doing the best parenting/discipline I should be- at least I'm able to experience being a parent to healthy kids alongside my living/breathing hubby and not like some of the widows who also got to experience 9/11 in "first person".
So I just couldn't post this post on 9/11 because my frustrations with my 4 year old are nothing, NOTHING, compared to what life could be. So I'm utilizing the scheduled Post option provided by blogger.
My chattynattyness has gotten the best of me in this one- sorry for too much sharing/whining/ and mommy frustration. I think something must be in the water because a few other mom's I either know via blog land or real life land have reported the same TANTRUMS, "defiance", and wonderful outbursts occurring in their world too. So I share the above in hopes that someone reads this and thinks "Yes- I'm not the only one that is either experiencing a similar situation or have experienced the same situation"- of course minus my 9/11 remarks- We all need to remember 9/11 and be thankful to hopefully not have had a "first person" experience on 9/11.