I'm always amazed when I stop to think about how truly lucky I am to have so many good friends in Iowa. All of our family is out of state and so whether some of my friends like it or not, they have become our/my second family.
I also am amazed when you reconnect with friends you haven't seen in a long time, but yet you start back up like not a minute has passed between your last conversation and the present.
Last night I got together with four friends who have seen me through laughter, crying, sickness, frustration, low times, high times, birth of my kids, and still want to hang around me despite my not so great "foot in the mouth" episodes. I had one of those "foot in the mouth" = "oh my god did that comment come out of my mouth"- "really you said WHAT" events last night. I won't share the comment, because that isn't what is important, but I felt bad after I said what I said and if you know me, you know that I stew and stew over my stupidity and therefore when I woke up this morning still feeling embarrassed about my remarks I decided instead of lingering in my worried state I would just stop by this friend's house and apologize about my remark. (side note- I think that is a truly run-on sentence: my "editor" would probably say be more concise :)).
You know friendship is an amazing thing. I hadn't seen this friend (the one I felt I hurt with my comment) in forever, and kind of thought we were bound for "the land of no return" with our relationship ( i unfortunately have extremely high expectation of friendship and friends and if I get disappointed or hurt I tend to distance myself from that friend/situation because I think they don't need me in their life)- however, after my apology, her great hug and forgiveness and really basically saying she didn't think twice about what I said- I realized that I need to do more of this in my life- meaning- I need to just accept when I make mistakes, apologize for them and move forward. I also need to be around people who give me good energy, want to be around me and I need to stop analyzing my importance in their life. I guess what I'm trying to say at the end of this post is as long as I'm happy and feel good around someone shouldn't that be enough and leave the expectations at the door.
Two of the four friends I was with last night have told me that expectations are pretty much disappointments waiting to happen. They are right! So with that I will try harder to be happy with the great friends/relationships I have and try, try, try to enjoy life and leave the analyzing of relationships at the door.
Thanks to the great 4 I spent the night with last night!